Low Libido Therapy
Confidential support for low libido, low sex drive, and mismatched desire in relationships — understanding what’s happening rather than assuming something’s wrong with you.
- 1 in 10women report low interest in sex lasting 6+ months (UK data)
- 75% / 50%of women / men primarily experience responsive, not spontaneous, desire
What Is Low Libido? Low Sex Drive Explained
Low libido — sometimes called low sex drive, or clinically Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) — means a persistent lack of interest in sex that causes genuine distress, either to you or within a relationship.
It’s genuinely common: UK research (the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles) found around 1 in 10 women report a lack of interest in sex lasting six months or more.
An important starting point: desire isn’t simply “high” or “low.” It’s more complex than that, and understanding how desire actually works for you is often more useful than trying to force it back to how it used to feel.
Understanding Desire: Spontaneous vs. Responsive
One of the most useful reframes in modern sex therapy comes from sex researcher Emily Nagoski’s work: desire generally shows up in one of two ways.
~25% / ~50%
of women / men, primarily
Spontaneous Desire
Wanting sex “out of the blue,” without a specific trigger — the version most often shown in films and assumed to be the norm.
~75% / ~50%
of women / men, primarily
Responsive Desire
Desire that arises in response to stimulation, context, or connection, rather than arriving first.
A huge amount of what gets labelled “low libido” is actually responsive desire being judged against a spontaneous-desire standard it was never going to match. Understanding which style genuinely fits you is often the single most clarifying part of this work.
What Causes Low Libido?
Low libido usually comes from a combination of factors rather than one cause:
Stress & Mental Load
A very common, often underestimated factor.
Relationship Dynamics
Connection, conflict, or feeling unseen.
Body Image or Self-Esteem
How you feel in your body affects desire.
Past Experiences
Including previous negative sexual experiences.
Depression
Medical & Hormonal Factors
If low libido is persistent regardless of context, or you suspect a hormonal or medication-related cause, it’s worth discussing with your GP alongside any therapeutic support — the two aren’t either/or.
Desire Discrepancy: When Partners Want Different Things
Mismatched sexual desire between partners is one of the most common reasons couples seek psychosexual therapy — and it’s worth saying clearly: neither partner’s desire level is “the problem.” Often, one partner experiences more spontaneous desire and the other more responsive desire, and without understanding that difference, it easily gets misread as rejection on one side and pressure on the other. The work isn’t about making both partners want sex the same way — it’s about building understanding and genuine connection despite a real difference.
How Is Low Libido Treated?
Treatment focuses on understanding what’s genuinely going on, rather than pushing desire to “switch back on”:
Exploring Context
The conditions that support your desire style.
Underlying Factors
Stress, relationship, or psychological drivers.
CBT & Mindfulness
Both shown genuinely effective for low desire.
Couples Work
Where desire discrepancy is part of the picture.
OUR APPROACH
Our Approach to Low Libido Therapy
Our approach starts with understanding your experience of desire specifically, rather than assuming a fixed problem to fix. This is talk-based, non-judgemental work, whether you’re attending alone or with a partner.
✦ A reminder on what this doesn’t involve: in line with COSRT’s code of ethics, there is no physical examination and no physical touch between therapist and client at any point. This is entirely talk-based support.
MEET YOUR THERAPIST
Nariman Al-Aloosi
Nariman is an NCPS-accredited psychotherapist based in Kings Hill, West Malling, Kent, with over 12 years of experience supporting clients through Low Libido and a wide range of other difficulties. Her approach is integrative, Person-Centred, CBT, Psychodynamic, and Attachment-based adapted to what actually helps, not a fixed programme. Nariman also brings direct clinical experience from an NHS sexual health clinic and hold a Postgraduate Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy, accredited by Middlesex University.
Nariman works with clients of all backgrounds. Everything discussed in session is entirely confidential.
WHO THIS IS FOR
Is Low Libido Therapy Right for You?
- You've noticed a persistent drop in interest in sex that's causing you distress
- You and a partner have different levels of desire, and it's creating tension
- Low libido has developed alongside stress, depression, or a difficult period
- You suspect your desire has changed since starting a medication
- You want to understand your own pattern of desire better, without assuming something's wrong
- You've felt judged or dismissed raising this before
WHERE I PRACTISE IN KENT
In-Person in Kings Hill, or Online Across Kent
Low libido therapy is delivered within Individual Therapy sessions. In-person sessions are available at the Kings Hill, West Malling practice, with online sessions available across Kent.
MORE SUPPORT
Depression Therapy Often Connects To
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Common Questions About Low Libido Therapy
Yes — Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is the clinical term used for persistent, distressing low sexual desire. “Low libido” and “low sex drive” describe the same experience in everyday language.
This is rarely down to one cause — stress, relationship dynamics, past experiences, depression, and medical or hormonal factors can all play a role, often together. Understanding your specific pattern is the useful first step.
Yes, genuinely normal, and one of the most common reasons couples seek psychosexual therapy. Differences in desire style (spontaneous vs. responsive) are a major, often unrecognised factor.
Research shows a strong link between depression and low sexual desire. Both can be addressed together.
Yes, this is a well-documented side effect of some antidepressants, particularly SSRIs. Don’t stop or adjust medication without speaking to your prescriber first.
It’s worth considering, particularly if it’s persistent regardless of context or you suspect a hormonal or medical cause. A GP and therapy can work alongside each other.
Yes, entirely. Nothing discussed in session is shared with anyone else, including your GP.
Yes — online sessions are available for clients anywhere, alongside in-person sessions in Kings Hill, Kent.
Start Low Libido Therapy Today
Book a confidential 10-minute intro call — no pressure, just a chance to talk through what’s going on and see if it’s the right fit.