NCPS-Accredited · Integrative Approach
Infidelities & Affairs Counselling
Confidential infidelity counselling and affair recovery — space to process betrayal trauma, understand what happened, and decide what comes next.
- 3 Phasesthe Gottman Institute's Atone-Attune-Attach model of affair recovery
- No Fixed Timelinerecovery varies genuinely by couple — anyone promising a quick fix isn't being honest
What Is Infidelity? Understanding Affairs & Betrayal
Infidelity means a breach of the trust and exclusivity a couple has agreed to — but what counts as an affair isn’t always as clear-cut as it sounds, and couples don’t always agree on where the line sits.
Types of Infidelity
Physical / Sexual Affairs
Sexual involvement with someone outside the relationship.
Emotional Affairs
A deep emotional bond formed outside the relationship, often with secrecy, without necessarily anything physical.
Emotional affairs are frequently underestimated, but the betrayal they cause is often just as real and just as painful as a physical affair — for many people, the secrecy itself is the deepest wound.
Betrayal Trauma
Many people describe the aftermath of discovering an affair in terms that closely resemble trauma — intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, emotional flashbacks, and a shattered sense of safety. This is sometimes described clinically as “betrayal trauma,” a term reflecting how closely the response can mirror post-traumatic stress.
This helps make sense of reactions that can otherwise feel overwhelming or “too much”: they’re a genuine response to a genuine rupture, not an overreaction.
Can a Marriage Survive an Affair?
Yes, many relationships do survive infidelity, and some couples describe their relationship as ultimately stronger and more honest afterward — but this isn't automatic, and it isn't the same as "getting over it" quickly. It requires both partners being genuinely willing to do the work. Not every relationship survives, and both outcomes — staying together or separating — can be a legitimate, healthy resolution depending on the couple.
Stages of Affair Recovery: Rebuilding Trust
The Gottman Institute’s Trust Revival Method describes affair recovery in three phases:
1
Atone
The partner who had the affair takes genuine responsibility, without minimising or shifting blame.
2
Attune
Both partners work to understand the emotional experience of the other.
1
Attach
Rebuilding emotional and physical connection as trust is genuinely re-established.
This isn’t a fast or linear process, and couples often move back and forth between phases rather than progressing neatly through them — that’s normal, not a sign of failure.
How Long Does It Take to Recover From Infidelity?
There’s no fixed timeline, and anyone promising a quick fix isn’t being honest with you. Recovery genuinely varies — some couples find a new stability within months, others need a year or more, particularly where trust needs to be rebuilt from a significant rupture. What matters more than speed is whether both partners stay engaged in the process.
OUR APPROACH
Our Approach to Infidelity Counselling
Our approach draws on Person-Centred Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Attachment Theory, and CBT, adapted to whether you’re working through this individually or together as a couple. The work isn’t about assigning blame or rushing toward forgiveness — it’s about understanding what happened, processing what it’s brought up, and making an informed decision about what you want next.
MEET YOUR THERAPIST
Nariman Al-Aloosi
Nariman is an NCPS-accredited psychotherapist based in Kings Hill, West Malling, Kent, with over 12 years of experience supporting clients through Infidelity counselling and a wide range of other difficulties. Her approach is integrative, Person-Centred, CBT, Psychodynamic, and Attachment-based adapted to what actually helps, not a fixed programme. Nariman also brings direct clinical experience from an NHS sexual health clinic and hold a Postgraduate Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy, accredited by Middlesex University.
Nariman works with clients of all backgrounds. Everything discussed in session is entirely confidential.
WHO THIS IS FOR
Is Infidelity Counselling Right for You?
- You've recently discovered a partner's affair, physical or emotional
- You're the partner who had the affair and want to understand why, and how to make amends
- You're experiencing symptoms that feel like trauma — intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, difficulty trusting
- You and your partner want to rebuild, but don't know where to start
- You're unsure whether to stay or leave, and want space to think it through
- You're processing an affair on your own, whether or not the relationship continues
WHERE I PRACTISE IN KENT
In-Person in Kings Hill, or Online Across Kent
Infidelity counselling is delivered within Individual Therapy sessions. In-person sessions are available at the Kings Hill, West Malling practice, with online sessions available across Kent.
MORE SUPPORT
Infidelity Counselling Often Connects To
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Common Questions About Infidelity Counselling
Yes, many do, and some couples find real strength and honesty on the other side — but it requires both partners genuinely committing to the work, and isn’t guaranteed or automatic.
A physical affair involves sexual involvement outside the relationship. An emotional affair involves a deep emotional bond and secrecy with someone outside the relationship, without necessarily anything physical — but it can be equally painful and destabilising.
Yes — many people experience genuine trauma-like symptoms after discovering infidelity, including intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and flashbacks. This is a recognised response, not an overreaction.
Not necessarily, and this is worth discussing carefully — full disclosure can help some couples rebuild trust, while excessive detail can sometimes cause further harm. This is something to work through together in session, at a pace that’s right for you.
Either can work, and many people do both at different points — individual sessions to process your own experience, and couple sessions to work through it together.
This varies significantly — some couples find stability within months, others need a year or more. There’s no fixed timeline, and that’s normal.
Yes, entirely. Nothing discussed in session is shared with anyone else, including your GP.
Yes — online sessions are available for clients anywhere, alongside in-person sessions in Kings Hill, Kent.
Start Infidelity Counselling Today
Book a confidential 10-minute intro call — no pressure, just a chance to talk through what’s going on and see if it’s the right fit.